Well, the answer is: Pride.

Ok, blog post done.

I guess we could go more in-depth here…

Golfers are known for being fanatical about their practice habits. They make sure they’re doing everything in their power to improve their scores and, hopefully, attain multiple golf trophies for their mantle or office. Dedicated golfers practice for hours upon hours, perfecting every aspect of their game in the hopes of finally accomplishing a feat worthy of a golf trophy. Basically, it’s a symbol of hard work and dedication. Eric, from the warehouse, won a long-drive contest over ten years ago at a local tournament–he was lucky. He did not get a trophy (I think he won gift certificate to Applebees), but if he did I bet he wouldn’t bring up his stupid victory every time golf is mentioned around the office. Eric, you annoy me–there I said it.

Golf is an extremely competitive sport and showing off one’s golf trophies is a subtle, yet powerful way of relaying dominance. Without being rude or pompous, a message is relayed that you’re a good golfer and have the trophies to prove it. As the former Ron Artest (now named Metta World Peace) said in a rap “..and I aint gonna brag, I let the trophies do it.” Occasionally, I like to tell people how great of a typist I am. “55 words a minute, beat that!” I yell to Carol in the next cubicle. I hear her sigh and open her nicotine gum package. If I had a trophy that told everyone how fast I am at typing I would be less likely to berate Carol. However, the trophy would have to go with me everywhere or else only the folks around the office would know my WPM prowess. Maybe a T-shirt with a trophy on it?

Naturally, the better looking the trophy the more fulfillment it can provide. Emotional fulfillment? Perhaps. I know that when I look at other people’s golf trophies I’m thinking “I wonder where they got that? Did they buy it for themselves? No, that’s ridiculous. Maybe I should buy a trophy for myself!” Nobody would ever have the nerve to ask if I won the trophy, it would just be assumed that I’m an amazing golfer who declines to ever show off his talent for fear of being discovered as the ‘self-trophy-buyer’ I really am. I already have the one I’d buy picked out–check it out here.

So, if you ever find yourself hosting a golf tournament don’t skimp and buy inferior golf trophies. People should be proud for attending so that they tell others about your event–and as a result, news will spread and interest will climb. I once hosted a party at my apartment. I had chips, drinks, games, balloons–basically everything required for a great bash. I invited the office and a few friends but hardly anyone showed. I come to find out on Monday that Carol and Eric heard about my party and planned a counter-party to hurt my feelings. While they “say” that their gathering’s invitations were mailed out weeks before I even mentioned my function–I don’t believe a word of it. I think they’re conspiring against me during their bi-weekly Applebees lunch.

Well, to wrap up this post about golf trophies– it is simply human nature to take pride in one’s accomplishments, especially those that take a lot of time to achieve.